Airplane Mode: Free-flowing Thoughts

New blog post yall. Since it’s been a minute since my last post, I figured I’d throw up some musings from an airplane ride I took last June. I was bored crazy so I whipped out my laptop and started typing. Just me and my free-flowing thoughts on this airplane ride from SF to the Bean. I took some creative license with the grammar to emulate exactly how the thoughts sounded in my head. Hope you enjoy my mind! Peace 1luv.

BLAHHHHHledaaaadeeeedaa. I’m on a plane alone with my thoughts, and I just want to get off this plane. WAHHHH so turrrible just sitting here feeling my legs get tighter and tighter and tighter by the mo (moment). Woeeee is me with my first world problems #fwp. EHH WHATEvssss. I guess things aren’t so bad. Things are actually pretty froogin sweet right now. Going home to see the FAM. I’m excited to get home and eat. Mah Maa (my ma) is making EGGS with VEGETABLES. [I’m literally SO excited to have some fresh vegetables. This day has been torturous on the food front, as airport affair is pretty dull and dreary and EXPENSIVE as FUDGEEEEEEEEEE. (2 bananas, 1 apple, and 1 small bag of ahhmonds cost me $9 and something cents….) Again with my #fwp . Nahnahnah, life is good life is good. #lig …? Is that a hashtag? If not, someone should make it a hashtag; it’s SUPER DUPER legit. Legitimately legit. . I’m just sitting here pouring out whatever comes to mind. Don’t really know what’s in the pitcher until you tip the handle. WOWWWWWWW that’s a SICKKKKK saying, I just came up with that shiteee on the FLY YOO. WORDD YO. Cheaaa. Recognize.

So back to the eggs, those are going to be scrumdiddlyumptious in my tummy tum tum. MMMMMMMMmmmmmm egggggs. I love eggs. I haven’t eaten them recently, I’m trying this whole vegan BS. Nahhhh it’s not really BS, it’s pretty good to do every now and then. This is NOT permanent, but I wanted to make sure to eat a clean diet for the last 2 weeks or so so that my skin looks good and so I’m lookin fly for the fam when I see them. It’s worked out pretty well; my skin is clear and I feel good and at a nice weight, and got some decent (Decent) muscle tone, nothing to write home about but not bad not bad, you know. Getting better erryday with the muscle tone. Speaking of muscles, my legs are madd sore right now (well not right now, because I stretched at the airport earlier today, both in SF and in Minnesota), but this morning they were madd sore. Me and Armando (that’s incorrect grammar, but for some reason it always seems more natural than to say “So-and-so and I”) had been working in the field all day Monday and in the greenhouse and field all day Tuesday, doing SQUATS SQUATS squats squats squats SQUATS SQUATS squats squats squats SQUATS SQUATS squats squats squats squats EVERYBOOODDDDAYYY (you see what I did just there, MUSIC REFERENCE YOOO, WORD). But yeah we were doing squats a lot. Not purposefully with the intention to squat, but to plant our corn seeds (no, MAIZE seeds; maize sounds so much cooler than corn; corn just sounds boring and white-washed; maize is so ethnic and beautiful; corn is just something you stuff into your face and then poop out later). Anyway anyway, getting off topic again. No not really, I don’t HAVE A TOPIC. That’s the point of this, it’s a BEAUtiful, WONderful free-write. Hmm I wonder if now is an appropriate time to stop. My creative juices are still rollin NO doubt NO doubt, but mehh I think I’ve written enough for now. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY THOUGHTS MY BEAUTIFUL COMPUTER (and whomever else happens to stumble upon this free-write in the future). With love and sincerity, yours ever so truly, EVER SO TRULY, Dave (EXXXCELLLEnt Dave…. Just kidding just Dave, but I can be excellent if need be.) DAVY OUT. PEACE YO!

5:45PM…

DAVY BACK CUZ I STILL WANNA WRITE YO, and because what ELSE am I gonna do on this airplane. I guess I could play Candy Crush again on my Kindle, but I’ll save that for a little later. Hahahahah super fun SUPER fun, and mindless but OHHH well, sometimes it’s good to just drone out and look at pretty colors and solve puzzles involving candy and weird magical lands that never end. CANNNNNNDDDAYYYYYYYY. MMMmm candy. But you know what REAL candy is? Fruit, fruit is real candy. Anything else (processed junk I mean) is just so blazayy these days who needs it WHO NEEDS IT I SAYY (read that last line in a roaring ‘20s type accent; that’s the intended purpose). Ahhhh, I just farted. I bet the guy next to me doesn’t know that HAHAHAHHAAH. Hmmm hopefully he doesn’t read any of this. NAHHHHH it’s pretty small font. So I was crop dusting at the SFO airport earlier today. Let it GOOOO Let it GOOOO can’t hold it back ANYMOREEE. Better to do it before getting on the plane anyway. [Although I guess I’m still pretty gassy right now; I just ripped 3 more silent farts. It must be all the nuts I’ve been eating… Do nuts cause gas? I don’t even know] Anyway anyway ANYWAY, back to the crop dusting at the airport. It felt pretty good I tell ya, pretty good. I let one loose while filling up my water bottle at a fountain, and then this little kid walked up to get a drink. I laughed to myself silently HAhahah. Littlle did he know…. HAHAHAHAha gosh I’m so funny. [I’m being mildly sarcastic, but more so genuinely serious in my belief that I’m funny, cuz I am.] I tweeted about the crop dusting too, maybe I’ll get a few more followers WHO KNOWS?? At 32 and CLIMBING right now. [And I just ripped 4 more silent farts FYI, good thing they aren’t smelly, or who knows maybe I can’t smell them but everyone else can… All indications seem to point to them not being smelly. I don’t see anyone looking around to see who dealt it. WHOEVER SMELT IT DEALT IT I SAY, and I don’t smell it so therefore I didn’t DEAL IT. JK yeah I did, I just ripped five more.] Ahhhhhh life, life is beautiful. What about life is beautiful? Everything, everything is wonderful and awesome. Maybe not EVERYthing, but a lot of things. Carrots, broccoli, bunny rabbits, paleo cupcakes, basketballs, bball kicks, all of those things are beautiful and awesome. Thank you to whomever invented basketball, and to whomever invented broccoli and everything else.

Hmm [3 more farts] it looks like I’m pretty good at this whole blogging thing, maybe I should try it out eh? EHHHH?? Who knows, maybe I’ll be the next (…insert name of famous blogger here…. I don’t’ know any famous bloggers). Lovely world lovely world. Sun seems to be going down right now. Sun is setting on a glorious day, a beautiful day in the neighborhood (Mr. Roger’s reference. He was a nice man with his holes in his socks as he put on his tennis shoes everyday. No he didn’t really have holes in his socks, but for some reason I always imagine that he did.). Guy next to me just busted out his computer too. Maybe HE’ll write about flatulence TOO. Hmmm who knows, maybe he’s also been farting this whole time and laughing to himself on the inside, thinking “Hehehe I’m rippin it up on this plane and this studious guy to my left has not a CLUE. He’s too busy writing a friggin NOVEL on HIS LAPTOP.” Hehehe, little does he know, I’ve been rippin up a STORM on this plane. Take that sir, take that! … Hmmm actually it looks like he’s not about to write about flatulence. He just started playing Hearts… Mehh whatevs, I’ll write about flatulence. I think I’m done with that subject for now though. Time to play some more Candy Crush YO. DAVY OUT ONE MO’ TIME FOO’! DEUCES YO! (6:05PM PST)

6:06PM PST

Back just to say I just ripped four mo’ times. That is all. DEUCES!

LET’S DO THIS

Alright blog let’s do this LET’S DO THIS. So I was at Ohana’s BBQ a little earlier tonight getting some grub with a few friends. One of them got his order ticket and said he was #22. So what did I immediately think of? None other than T. Swifts “22”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgFeZr5ptV8 … Oooo yaaa (Lumpy Space Princess voice).

So we eat our food, then part ways, as we live on opposite sides of town and I am Oh too lazy to bike double the distance at the end of the night to get back to my apartment. Instead of hanging out with friends like a normal human being on a Friday night, I will gladly depart to my abode to enjoy some blueberry-covered goat cheese and coconut chocolate pudding and other delicious goodies whilst watching YouTube and/or Netflix and blogging about my day-to-day happenings on WordPress. I am a very exciting person as you may have already guessed. Anywho, I digress.

So we part ways, and I decide to make my nightly visit to Trader Joe’s to get some more blueberry-covered goat cheese among other things. As I’m perusing the almond butter aisle, what song comes on the speaker system? None other than … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgFeZr5ptV8 … OOOOO YAAAA I’m thinking in my head (with the LSP voice of course) and I start jammin to the beat (internally at least… I’m a pretty odd weirdo at times, but I try to keep it contained in public). So I’m feelin 22 just like T. Swift, bop my way over to the dried fruit section, and then another song comes on. “What song??” you might be asking in fervent anticipation. This song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8eRzOYhLuw OOOOOO YAAAAAAA. So I’m jammin again, feelin stronger than I did before. I cap the adventure by splurging on some honey and brussel sprouts, and then head for the check-out.

“So, what’s the point of all this?”, you might ask. There is none. Enjoy your evening! Yee yeee Davy out, peace.

Why I don’t advertise “Paleo” in public. I don’t want to be a douche…

So today I had a conversation with a nutrition major. It came up that I followed the “paleo” diet. I didn’t initiate the conversation; he had asked if I wanted pizza, and I said “No thanks. I try to stay away from breads.” He then gave a follow-up question, so I told him I’m “paleo”. I now regret using that trendy word, because it ends up classifying and alienating people from one another. I don’t want to be perceived as a douche, and I understand that this type of diet is not realistically affordable for many people. That is exactly why I don’t like telling people that I follow this lifestyle.

Anyway, he had a lot of questions for me, and I could tell that he was mildly upset with my dietary choices. I think part of that stems from the fact that most self-proclaimed “paleo” enthusiasts are pretentious douchebags, and by stating that I was “paleo” I ended up lumping myself in with that crowd. In the end, he didn’t get too upset because I didn’t hold a strong stance or opinion on the matter. Honestly, for me there are still a lot of unknowns with regard to nutrition. Maybe breads and rice and corn are good for you in moderation; I’m not going to tell anyone that they are bad. All I’d like is to experiment with different diets and see what works for my body, and the only way to know if something works is to adhere to it for a significant portion of time and determine whether my body responds well to the change in the long-run. I’m going to rap this up, because it’s 12:47AM and I need to go to lab tomorrow. I just wanted to say that I don’t want to be perceived as a douche, and I’ll no longer be using the word “paleo”… ever. I eat a non-grain, non-legume diet, and everyone else can eat whatever they want. If you want a slice of pizza or some chocolate-chip banana bread, you do you girl. Ima do me. To each his own.

That’s all for now. Have a good night.

-Captain Dave

P.S. THE PATS WON THE SUPERBOWL! Werrrrrrddd 😀

Hi World. HI WORLD!!!! :D

Hi World. It’s Dave!!!! Yeahhh over-enthusiasm. I’m just jibberjabberin away. Jibber jibber jibber jabber. I don’t really know why, but I felt like postin. Let’s keep this short and sweet for tonight. And please give me feedback, my extensive list of 0 followers. Love ya! With utmost greatest lovely love in the world. Sincerely, Dave. Bye!